Peadophiles: What's up with that?

This is a pretty strong topic for me, so, disclaimer: There will be strong content and ideas in this article. If you can't handle it, get out now. This is also an opinion article and is not backed by any research (I'll get into that in a moment). So please don't come here looking for facts, I'm just trying to give my 2 cents on what is a very controversial topic.

What makes a Paedophile a Paedophile? What circumstances breed the mentality that a Paedophile has? What psychology goes into Paedophilia? Questions like this buzz around my head and have done for a long time on this topic. Paedophilia is something that has effected my life in huge ways. My mother was molested as a child by her babysitter. My Uncle was raped at knife point as a 14 year old boy. As children, me and my sisters were groomed and I was ultimately molested by that same Uncle as a teenager myself. But that's not all. I'm from North Wales. In North Wales, there have been huge problems with Paedophilia. Several people that went to my school turned out to Paedophiles. Some of those people I had even known as acquaintances. In the town just over from where I live (So basically a 40 minuet walk from my old house) a paedophile ring was discovered [1/2], and 10 men were convicted, however it came out that over 50 men had been involved from all over the country. Paedophilia has been something that has been in my life for some time now and every time I hear about it I always wonder, what got these people up to this point?

So where do we start with Paedophilia? I'd say the best place to start is childhood (get it? Sorry, this isn't meant to be a comedy article, you'll have to excuse me, I'm just nervous). Now, there isn't a whole lot of research we can get into about the psychology of Paedophiles, or even rapists. Why? Because as a society all we've ever done with them is throw them in jail, or kill them/ostracise them. There are a few studies into the Psychology of these people, however they are scattered at best, and don't tell us very much about why this might occur. However, there is a lot of studies about serial killers; and if that's taught me anything, it's that a lot of this stuff is developed through time, and usually from childhood. In the documentaries that are out there about Paedophiles or Paedophilia in general, I spotted a common theme. A lot of he Paedophiles in those productions had been abused to extreme levels themselves as children. This of course doesn't excuse their actions, however it does give us some insight and as someone who has been abused myself, I can perhaps shine a bit more light on this topic.

The significance of the abused turning into abusers is a huge one. But why does it happen? You'd think the trauma of being abused would make you champion against any kind of abuse, right? Well, there are a few reason that I believe might help you understand this psychological phenomena. Now before I continue I have to stress, this is just what I think based off of my experiences, and also all the reading and documentaries I've seen on the topic. These hypotheses are not fact, or based on any credible study other than the journalistic research I have done in my own time throughout my life, however I do think they are worth mentioning and could perhaps provide more understanding on the topic.

Children are, if you like it or not, sexual creatures. They don't quite know that themselves, but having reproductive organs makes you that by default. Now, if a child is told by somebody that utilising your reproductive organs for pleasure or "fun" (as a lot of paedophiles like to call it), is normal or okay, they're going to think it's normal and okay. So those children, that were abused under the guise of fun could easily go under the radar, as it may take years for them to understand that what happed was actually a crime. This bring me to the abused that become abusers, some of those kids turn into adults that never, ever, realise that what happened was wrong. In fact, they pine for it, they fantasise about it, and want to reenact it even in adulthood. They end up creating a cycle and never fully realise the damage they are doing to children, or the damage that was done to them.Now that's just one facet of the Paedophile mind. There are others, and I'm going to try my best to see if I can explain those too.

Another case of abused becoming the abuser are those who again, as a child had been molested, however this time they were aware it was wrong. They didn't like it and were either blackmailed, or forced into it in some way, either physically or mentally. In this instance, and I think this is also true of rape victims, the child does not want to participate. However when the sexual act takes place, they receive pleasure. This is confusing for them, as obviously the world paints a picture that if you don't want the sex, you won't enjoy it. However our bodies are literally biologically wired to receive sexual pleasure weather we want to or not. Now that's scary. I think children who are abused this way usually don't go on to be abusers, however, if they do, it is because they can't stop thinking about that pleasure, and again, wish to recreate it in some way or another.

There are some cases of Paedophilia that don't involve the perpetrator being abused at all. There could be a few reasons for this happening too. Desperation is one. Some men have high libidos but can't do much sexually. Either they aren't very appealing, they have poor social skills or bad hygiene. Whatever it is, they struggle to find sexual gratification. At some point, depending on how desperate you are, human beings can be pushed to do things they might not otherwise have done. In some ways, this is partly the reason why I support the legalisation of prostitution because at the very least this subset of abusers may be prevented from abusing if they had some kind of sexual outlet. Another is the Obsessor. This is a person that is so scared they may be a paedophile that they end up becoming one. I think this may be a rare thing, and in fact, may be more in line with those that indulge in child pornography, rather than actual abuse (although indulging in child pornography of course supports abuse). These people are so self obsessed, that as soon as they heard about paedophilia, they considered it about themselves and then just couldn't let the idea go. They got obsessed to the point of curiosity, then got curious to the point of action. These people exist, and in fact if you've ever seen "To Catch a Predator" you may be seeing a lot of them there.

Then there are those who are downright psychotic, power hungry, narcissists, who feed off the control and power they get from abusing children. Perhaps just as much as a serial rapist or serial killer does during their acts of violence. It's hard to know what causes these kinds of guys. I think the variables can be so broad, that you have to take them at a case by case basis. These guys are perhaps the worst, as they show little to no remorse. As an example, I shall post a video that accurately depicts this type of personality. In fact, I shall post as many videos as I can that I think are helpful in trying to understand the psychology of a Paedophile, in the hopes that it may educate and enlighten those that may not know a whole lot about it (which is everyone, really).

There are even those that claim Paedophilia is a sexuality they were born with and can't get rid of. Personally, I think these people fall into the Obsessor category, however, I could be wrong. I'm no expert and I've not done any tests, so it's hard to say. However I don't think it's entirely natural to want to procreate with anyone under the age of pubescence. Which says to me this is a developed behaviour, rather than an inherent one. So I'm not sure how that works for them, but there's obviously something going on.

Now there have been significant findings when scanning the brains of Paedophiles. [3] They've found that many paedophiles brains are wired differently. When or how this occurs is still debated. Though I have my own theory which surprisingly is backed up by some science to do with depression. [4] Brain patterns alter when a persons mood shifts. When I first heard that a lot of things clicked for me about developed mental illness. My interpretation being that the more you think in a certain way, the more your brain is shaped and altered by that, to the point that those distortions become manifested. Either physically, or in chemical imbalances. Basically, the brain is like a group of muscles, and the way you think is how you work it out. If you only work out certain areas of the brain, others will suffer because of it, and there are even parts of the brain you can train that may not be very healthy to do so. If any of that is true, then perhaps the best course of action for any child that has been sexually abused is to have them go through some form of therapy to ensure that they do not end up falling into harmful thought patterns. Of course, it won't work for everybody, and it may even be way too expensive a plan to enact in reality. However, that would be my option to help deal with the fallout of these terrible crimes. I was 19 when I gave evidence against my Uncle and I was not given any kind of support or offers for counselling afterwards. That's a little old, however if you can get to any survivor of abuse at any point in time, I think it might be worth it. I've been lucky in that I did get specialist counselling as I got older, from people who specialise in therapy with sexual abuse victims. (Shout out to Stepping Stones [5]) Fortunately I've not really had any strong Paedophilic urges. It's crossed my mind before, and I've worried that I might be (due to the whole abused becoming abusers thing), however I'm fairly confident I am not one.

Unfortunately though, Paedophilia is here to stay. It's been around since recorded time. In fact, it hasn't even been a problem until psychologists realised how damaging to the psyche forcible sex was to children. I'm not quite sure when that was exactly, but it must have happened at some point as most countries actively have laws against it now. So what do we do about it? I think the best we can do is try to break the cycle. However hard that might be. There needs to be more studies and case files about paedophiles. We need to understand motives so we can come up with preventative measures. There should be more support lines for those that suspect themselves to be paedophiles, and counselling for those people. Legalising prostitution could also be an option in this scenario. And get abused children into counselling as soon as possible. The first two examples I gave of Paedophiles are perhaps the most prevalent, and it could all be avoided if they'd had some care and attention as children and helped to realise the gravity of the situation they were in, or at least come to terms with it.

Thank you for reading my article. I'll leave it there for now. I hope this article adds something to the discussion surrounding paedophilia that isn't just hate speech or pandering. I wanted to put something out that may help with the issue, rather than create more confusion or hatred. I'll post a bunch of videos below so if you fancy watching some further material, you're more than welcome. Thanks again for reading.

Womb.